As much as it seems a little bit silly to admit that I love the song by S Club 7, I'm not ashamed to admit it. I remember going to my Grandma's house (because she had cable and we did not), and we would watch S Club 7 Marathons on holidays.
Maybe because I have the particular attachment of S Club 7 to my childhood, or maybe because it's just one of those songs that you have to dance to when you hear it, and you secretly know all the words after you hear the song once (and only once). But the lyrics have been running through my head and I can't stop thinking about them.
"Don't stop, never give up
Hold your head high and reach the top
Let the world see what you have got
Bring it all back to you
Hold on to what you try to be
Your individuality
When the world is on your shoulders
Just smile and let it go
If people try to put you down
Just walk on by don't turn around
You only have to answer to yourself
Don't you know it's true what they say
That life, it ain't easy
But your time's coming around
So don't you stop tryin'
Don't stop, never give up
Hold your head high and reach the top
Let the world see what you have got
Bring it all back to you
Dream of falling in love
Anything you've been thinking of
When the world seems to get too tough
Bring it all back to you
Na na na na..
Try not to worry 'bout a thing
Enjoy the good times life can bring
Keep it all inside you
Gotta let the feeling show
Imagination is the key
'Cause you are your own destiny
You never should be lonely
When time is on your side
Don't you know it's true what they say
Things are sent to try you
But your time's coming around
So don't you stop tryin'
Don't stop, never give up
Hold your head high and reach the top
Let the world see what you have got
Bring it all back to you
Dream of falling in love
Anything you've been thinking of
When the world seems to get too tough
Bring it all back to you"
Okay. So, I posted the lyrics in here, and I'm not usually the kind of person who posts lyrics but I think I need to listen to what that song is saying. Sometimes, lyricists kind of blow my mind.
And so, just listen to the song. I'm going to try to listen to the song and start thinking about myself more. I need to stop being so irrational, and stop letting my emotions control me. I need to learn how and why I need people, and let myself need certain things and be a certain person. I think for so long, I've just been so confused about who I am. Or at the very least, been denying myself so much of who I am. I spend so much time taking care of other people, and maybe I can't totally help it or anything..but for the first time in my life, at school and here in NC, I'm realizing that I don't take care of myself nearly as much as I should.
I'm pissed off and disenchanted with my life. But, the worst part is, I'm also really happy about my life. My emotions are ninjas and so they have a tendency to attack me when I am down and out for the count. If I'm being completely honest, I am absolutely awful at taking care of myself. And, it's a big deal for me to admit that, because as cliche as it is to say, admitting that I am bad at taking care of myself and that I need to take care of myself IS the first step to fixing the problem. But, in the meantime, I kind of need people to take care of me, too. However, I am suchamom, here. So many of the people here need me to take care of them, and even if they want to take care of me, they just don't know how to. And they might be learning, but I'm not really putting my heart into helping them help me.
I want to put my heart into it.
Bring it all back to me, I guess.
