I'll never need more than this.

Sometimes, I believe lyricists to be the most brilliant and emotional people to exist in the world.

I think something that is absolutely essential to know about me is the fact that I obsess about songs. Not like, I obsess about the actual songs, but every time I find a new song that I fall in love with, I listen to it for about two weeks straight. I don't listen to the radio, and I don't really listen to the kind of music everyone else listens to. Not that I don't enjoy the same kinds of music, but I mean, I'll discover a song, and just listen to it for weeks at a time. Then, when I tire of it, I find a new song and listen to that for weeks a time. And honestly, I think this is one of the most innocent and pure ways to fall in love with music. Because, when you listen to the songs over and over again, you fall in love with every part of them. The way a certain instrumental part sounds, or the way voices might blend together, or the complexity of emotions wrapped in part of the lyrics. The order of how lyrics fall in a song to make a story that is that song, or the way a song can mean nothing to you one time that you listen to it, and mean everything to you when you're in a different mood. Or how different lines in songs just scream out to you sometimes.

So, I've always been this way with music. For as long as I can remember and for as long as youtube has possessed my emotions in different song addictions I have experienced. But this summer, I've been addicted to a song for longer than I can explain, and longer than I normally like to be addicted. Several weeks ago, at the very beginning of July, I was introduced to the song "More Than This" by Vanessa Carlton. And frankly, I'm obsessed with it. Everytime I think about listening to it, it gets stuck in my head and I think about my favorite lyrics and how it connects with my emotions. And every time I actually do get to listen to it (which is really too frequented..it's AT LEAST everytime I'm on my computer.), I get all of "those things" about music. The lyrics, the instrumental, the voices, the story, the complexity of emotions, the lines that speak. I get all of these from this song. And alright, maybe I know it's not a super really fantastic song. Like, people might listen to it and think it's pretty, or really good but it's not one of those songs that people listen to and say WOW THAT SONG IS AMAZING. I think honestly, you have to listen to this song repeatedly before you begin to feel about it the way that I do. But, I think that's the way I am as a person, too, which is why I can connect to this so well. You have to look at me and spend time with me repeatedly to begin to really know me and appreciate me. Being my friend, like truly being my friend, is like being addicted to a song. Not that I'm saying I want people to be addicted to me (not saying that at ALL actually), I'm just saying, I want people who are my friends to want to be around me, to want to always learn more about me, and not say they know everything. I want people to view my complexities and want to understand them, and when they can't, just to appreciate them. To appreciate all the things about me that I might not even notice.

More Than This has, therefore, has become a really big part of my summer. I listen to it all the time, and I want to put the lyrics in here and explain why I love them so much. The lyrics in this song probably kill me more than anything else about the song, so it seems appropriate that I address them.

Cradling stones hold fire bright
As crickets call out to the moonlight
As you lean in to steal a kiss
I'll never need more than this

Don't those lyrics just slay you? Okay, maybe not. But for me, they just rip my heart out and lay it on the table for me to look at. The first verse sets up the fact that the person singing the song has such beautiful things laying out in her life in front of her, and she's finally realizing how awesome all of it is. The moment that you realize that in your life, honestly, nothing will ever feel the same. I think that life is so underappreciated. The things that we have in our lives that we take for granted. Whenever I listen to this, I think about how wonderful my life feels right now (and even all the wonderful things that are held in my future that I don't even know about). And I realize that this is what life is about. If you are out there living life to the fullest, you really never will need more than what you have right when you have it. And that's..ridiculously awesome. This summer, I think I've learned what it feels like to be really appreciated, and what it feels like to really appreciate life back. Probably one of the reasons this has been one of the best summers of my life.

We all share the pain of our histories
But the ache goes away if you could see
This night under stars, well, I call it peace
If you say, I'll never need more than this

I think I love this verse. For me personally, it's addressing the fact that maybe we have a lot that's gone on in our pasts that makes it hard to live in the present. We write off ourselves as a figment of all of our past experiences, and therefore cannot really appreciate the RIGHT NOW. But, as the lyrics address, the ache goes away if we're willing to let ourselves believe that it does..then it actually does And, again, it states that you can feel peace, if only you choose to say you don't need any thing more. If you choose to believe that life is perfect to appreciate the way it is right in the moment. Baaah so awesome.

The trees grow so thick
You can barely see through
But the forest bestows the simplest of truths
You think you'll be happy if granted one more wish
But the truth is you'll never need more,
You'll never need more
You'll never need more than this

SO GOOD. SLAYING ME. You'll have to forgive me because I'm addicted to this song, and have listened to it..an ungodly number of times, but actually really trying to explain why I love the lyrics so much is making me love it even more. VC is busting out some major metaphor here. Our lives are the forest! And I think this is just going back to the whole thing. I mean, the trees growing thick is just like, when we lose sight of our wants and our needs and our desires and we forget how to live. It's those days when you feel like giving up (or those weeks, months, years..you get the picture). And we're always looking for something else. We forget how to look in our lives and appreciate it..so we look elsewhere. BUT THE TRUTH IS, you'll never need more than what you have right in front of you. And how simple is that? But we always forget it. And that's nearly heart-shattering when you think about it. This song addresses that..and I think that's part of the reason I can't get over my obsession with it. Because life is utterly beautiful. Like, entirely.

Want so much in this life,
There's so much to be
We sail through our youth so impatiently
Until we see
That the years move along
And soldiers and heroes come home
And they carry a song

Seriously, I just love every part of this song. And this part really strikes me as I leave for college in about 20 days. It's talking about how we keep looking for more. We keep thinking about all the things we can be, and we forget how young we are and how much we already ARE. It's always about what we're becoming, but we forget that we already ARE something. And I love the part about carrying a song. Because, I think we each carry our own songs. As we travel to new places, we take that song with us. We introduce our song to the new people we meet. We change our song with the change of places, but it's still ours. And if people have taken the time to get to know us, no matter how much our songs might change, you can still recognize the song as that certain person's.

Don't live in forgotten times
May this always remind you
Of the sea under the skies blue looking glass
Let's make this our story, let's live in the glory
Time, it fades away,
Precious as a song
Cause someday we'll be gone

Again, with appreciating the moment, and looking towards what is, and what can be if we appreciate life for what it is. "The sea under the skies blue" I LOVE THAT. It's like when you look out over the water of the ocean and there is no end in sight. You have to appreciate right where you are standing rather than thinking about the side that you cannot see. Let's make this our story, let's live in the glory. Time fades away precious as a song, cause someday we'll be gone. Everyday is your story, and if you bask in each day, then it will be glorious. Time continues on, and if you don't appreciate it, like you want your songs and your life to be appreciated..then you'll be gone and your existence will have been futile. It's just so good these lyrics. They kill me.

Cradling stones hold fire bright
As we watch the glow of the morning light
Someday our bones here they will lie, and so we sing

As the years move along and soldiers and heroes come home
And they carry a song
Let's make this our story,
Let's live in the glory
Time, it fades away,
Precious as a song
Cause someday we'll be gone

I just love the bit about our bones, here they will lie. OUR BONES WILL LIE HERE SOMEDAY, BUT RIGHT NOW WE JUST NEED TO SING. Our songs, to each other. We have to establish ourselves and appreciate life, or what's the point? And I just love that it ends with "Cause someday we'll be gone." It's not saying that our lives are pointless because someday we'll be gone, but I mean, if we dont live life to the fullest and appreciate all of this, then really, what is the point of our lives? What difference can we make if we don't let ourselves be appreicated, and take the chances life has?

I know I said a lot of the same stuff over and over when I was talking about those lyrics, but I mean, really. My obsession with this song is warranted. Particularly now, this summer, as I head off to college all too soon. It's almost like, I need to suck all the juice and nectar out of life right here right now because I'm going to go off and get a new version of my song. But part of my song will always lie here, in North Canton, with the people I care about and the people who have figured out how to appreciate me.

I'm not really sure what the purpose of this was. If I was trying to tell you you should listen to that song, or if I was just trying to say that music is more complex. Or even, if I'm trying to say that I'm more complex than most people are willing to look into.

I just want people to know that I appreciate them. I want people to know that I appreciate life. I want people to know that I love being happy, and that I love dumb things that I'll never really be able to explain. (Like, my love for this song has not even moderately been expressed to you. Please give it a listen after/while you read this..)

But, if you glean anything from this, and from this song, it would be that life is really precious. Like, even learning to appreciate life in a little tiny simple way makes you that much more equipped for life. Oh, and learn your song, be proud to sing it. Be prepared for it to change, but still be willing to sing it as it changes.

I think, I'm ready for my song to change.
But I hope that everyone who knows it already will still know it when I come back and sing it.