EXCESS EMOTIONS. I HAVE SO MANY AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THEM.
And since this is usually a pretty good outlet for me, I thought I'd see what it could do for me once again.
Why do people have to be so perfect for me? Like, I don't understand how I can go my entire life having people that I think are my best friends, and now, I'm here 18 years later, and I have people who really truly understand me. Like it's not a matter of me ever having to pretend to be anything that I'm not, I can just be fully and totally me and I love that. And sometimes they might get a little annoyed but most of the time, they just seem to find my eccentricities endearing and I'm not really sure what that means. I don't even know what I'm saying. Let me start over.
Hi. I'm Julie. I've never really liked the term "best friend". It seems to hyperbolized and excessive when a person spends their life having so many friends. It really only means really awesomely amazing friend, but I kind of wish we could just have different adjectives in front of friend to describe our friendships. Like, you wouldn't have to have a best friend or several best friends because you could have a compassionate friend, and a loving friend, and an understanding friend, and each one would get a word, and each one would have a different word because every person and every friendship is different. There's no bests because each person is needed for different things. Because, gosh darnit, that's what friendship actually is. It's like this giant picture that you draw your entire life. And each person comes in with their different crayons and draws a part of your picture. And sometimes, the things people draw will be similar to something someone else drew, but you will always know the difference, even if it is just a matter of the color the person owned and used.
My life is so freaking colorful, especially lately, and going to college is really hard to deal with I guess. But i'm excited, I was there this weekend and fell in love with the campus and the opportunities i will have starting in the fall and all of the awesome people I've already met and will be meeting. It's amazing, and I am so dang excited. I don't know what I'm saying. I started this blog awhile ago, and now I'm trying to finish it and I'm not having the same thought process.
Basically, it's weird going to college and getting new friends and starting all over. But people come in with their colors, and I think i just have to be more willing to let them color their pictures into mine, and let MY color be eminent as well. No one's colors have to go over mine, they can just coincide with mine. Because if they're meant to be in my life and be my friends, their colors will match mine even if it's a weird combination, or something people aren't accustomed to.
And the friends I have here and have in my life already? If I want to keep their colors across my pictures, it's perfectly plausible. I want to keep them, because right now my life is so colorful, and gosh, i love crayons, especially the ones my friends own.
Sorry that this whole post is somewhat ranty, slash, not coherent?
We'll try again in a little while, and I may rant about Dayton and how excited I am.
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