It's 2:36. Happy First Day of College.

I'm not entirely sure what causes a person to realize that they are in college. Several factors of my evening have led me to believe that it doesn't really matter what I feel, college sneaks up on you and pounces. It's kind of mental, and trippy. Like drugs.

Speaking of illegal things, my evening was interesting. And no, I didn't do anything illegal. Like, actually, I was kind of a big loser this evening. The majority of the floor decided to go out to "the ghetto" which is basically just the student neighborhood, and seriously, they told me there was a party at basically every house. While I knew that it was going to be like that, I wasn't so sure I was quite ready to head out there for my first night of college. And yes, I became that girl who sits in her dorm and doesn't go out to party, just because I've, truthfully, NEVER in my entire life been to any sort of party. It's my first night of college, I'm sorry that I am not quite prepared for that much change. I hung out with Norman, and talked to my two best friends. I got a little more emotional about all of the changes than I thought that I would, but it happens I guess. So, I"m busy being emotional and wearing sweats and a hoodie because our room is CHILLY TO THE MAX. And then my one roommate comes back, who in fact, does not drink, but she brought her two drunken friends and our one slightly not very drunk friend who lives down the hall into our room. Before I knew it, I had a random boy telling me he needed to stay in my room for awhile so that he could sober up, and then he was lounging on the end of my bed, and the girl from down the hall was adamantly telling me about how awesome it was that she found a mini gummy bear in her package of fruit snacks.

While I do not intend to drink at college, pretty much anywhere I go on campus it's readily available to me. It's a little bit absurd for my brain to grasp this concept. However, it's not the end of the world that things are different. It's just like, the fact that I need to find where I fit here. What things I can do, what people will understand what I'm going through or what I believe and will try to figure out how I roll and do similar things as me. It shouldn't be all that hard, it may just take some time.

Time feels painful, and it feels confusing.
But it's okay. I think I'm actually really going to like it here.